Help out there for abused boys, men

There may be more victims in an alleged sex assault case against Scouts Canada volunteer Scott Graham Stanley, say Ottawa police.

But how soon they will come forward — if at all — is unknown.

“Chances are these boys are going to be carrying this for many years before they seek help, and that is truly a shame,” said co-founder and executive director of The Men’s Project Rick Goodwin.

“What we know about this issue is that it takes men usually until their mid to late 40s to enter treatment.”

The majority of boys targeted “are in a role of some sort of trust with the offender,” such as a neighbour, volunteer or family friend, said Goodwin.

Survivors learn recovery is “a lot of work. It’s hellish work.”

The charity serves clients ages 16 and up.

Families of victims can turn to CHEO, the Youth Services Bureau, and Crossroads.

Unless they monitor their kids 24/7, “there’s not one thing that a parent can do that will ensure the safety of one’s children,” said Goodwin.

Last summer, the Scouts held a press conference releasing findings of an independent review stating there was no intent to cover up abuse.

At least 65 abuse cases — over the span of 60 years — were kept secret.

“I wish Scouts Canada would just ante up and take up a leadership role on this matter,” said Goodwin.

Visit themensproject.ca and 1in6.ca for resources,

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Ottawa Police sexual assault/child abuse section at 613-236-1222 ext 5944 or Crime Stoppers at 613-233-8477.

kelly.roche@sunmedia.ca

@ottawasunkroche

WHAT TO DO and SAY TO A MALE WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED

Help him find a place where he feels safe.

• Listen to him and believe him.
Reassure him the assault was not his fault.

• Respect his decisions. They are his to make.

• Encourage him to seek out help from a professional.

• Let him know that he is not alone.

• Be aware of your own feelings about men who have been sexually assaulted.

• Know your limitations and be clear about how much support you are able to offer.

• Seek support for your own feelings and reactions.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN OR SUSPECT YOU MAY HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED

Contact the Regional Sexual Assault Treatment Program and/or your physician as soon as possible; they are available to provide information and guidance.

• If you seek medical assistance, be sure to explain exactly what happened or you suspect may have happened.

• The Men’s Project also provides support and guidance – callers can remain anonymous. These services exist to help people in need, not to judge them.

• Talk to someone you trust – you should not be alone.

• Remember, you are not responsible for the other person’s behaviour.

• Many men are sexually assaulted every year in Canada. It happens more frequently than is commonly thought.

• If you choose to report the assault to the police, or in case you choose to do so in the future, write down as soon as possible a full account of what happened. Do not throw out or wash anything that could serve as evidence.

There are a range of post-traumatic reactions, including shock, denial, anxiety, headaches, nausea, mood swings, memory problems, guilt, shame and depression. Your body is reacting to the trauma. These reactions are normal: you are not going crazy.

Source: The Men’s Project

http://www.ottawasun.com/2013/07/26/help-out-there-for-abused-boys-men

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