The casual sex code of conduct is generally agreed upon by young adults, according to a new University of Ottawa study released Thursday examining the difference between friends with benefits, booty calls, f— buddies, and one-night stands.
“That’s what was quite surprising,” said lead author Jocelyn Wentland, 31, a PhD student in experimental psychology at OttawaU.
“There was very clear understanding of the scripts that go along with each of these relationships.”
The article was published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.
Four focus groups in Ottawa with 23 participants aged 18 to 27 — 12 women, 11 men — were quizzed over a period of two months about the initiation, maintenance and termination of casual sex relationships.
Researchers wanted the scoop from the 19 participants with casual hook up experience, on how they met prospects and worked out the non-committal arrangement.
“Casual sex is not new … We made them define them. They came up with all these differences,” said Wentland.
“So one of the big ones is, you actually respect your friends with benefits.”
Here’s her unofficial glossary: Friends with benefits are based on a pre-existing friendship.
On the other hand, despite the terms often being used interchangeably, a f— buddy is “a superficial resulting friendship,” says Wentland.
“They are very different, you know, their names kind of define them.”
Similarly, booty calls are sporadic and easily terminated, even by text messaging.
“Once the sex stops, the friendship stops, because it’s not really a real friendship to begin with,” said Wentland.
But ending a sexual relationship with an actual friend warrants having a “clear discussion.”
One-night stands are self explanatory, though they come with an interesting twist.
“Because you don’t know that person, you might want to date them,” said Wentland.
At the same time, “you wouldn’t date your booty call or f— buddy, ‘cause you’re just having sex with them. You’ve relegated them to not dateable.”
And trying to move a friend with benefits into relationship territory, Wentland said, could lead to problems.
Going from texting to social media sites such as Facebook also bears interesting rules when it comes to publicly being “friends.”
“You could add any of these except one-night stands,” said Wentland.
And naturally, everything should be done behind the scenes, meaning nothing is written on walls alluding to a tryst.